Triggering moments for every one of us look different. I could be reminded of the time my dog was attacked and immediately feel anger, helplessness, and panic. Maybe it looks different for others like a feeling of judgment by something said to you, feeling forgotten when a friend doesn’t show, or ignored.
Our feelings show up in different ways, but the main reason why I’m even writing this today is to remind you that patience with yourself is key! You’re not a robot and you do have feelings, but let’s figure out why you’re feeling this way.
One, be kind to yourself! These feelings are temporary and they will dissipate eventually, but while you’re processing make sure you’re attending to the little voice in your head. It tends to feed us negative talk, doesn’t it?
Two, notice what’s going on in your body. Are you tensing up in your shoulders, hands, face, or jaw? If you’re noticing these tense places begin to breathe deep! Remember, you are a powerful human being with the ability to control your body. As soon as you recognize that your body is tensing, the sooner you’ll be able to relax and ask yourself “what am I feeling and why?”
Three, ask yourself what needs are not being met and recognize how this is affecting you. We’re all driven by our five basic needs for survival: love and belonging, power, freedom, and most importantly FUN!
So, let’s go back to my dog getting attacked (she’s alive and well today), in that moment I felt a complete loss of power, right? Meaning, when something reminds me of those same feelings I could become triggered.
Notice how I said could...
Four, you have a choice! Are you going to allow those feelings to overcome you? Will you also allow them to take over your body? Make the decision, but remember tip number one because this is not easy. It will take practice! Before long, however, you will be your own mastermind.
The most important step, Five! Breathe, shake it off, and concentrate on what you DO want at this moment. Do you want to feel this way? Then choose not to and consciously practice what you DO want.
By increasing your emotional intelligence, you will find it’s easy to control triggering moments. Give it a go!